Can't Let It Go
by CalypsoSunn
Summary: If Lukas could describe his condition, he would use one word:depressed. He tries to keep it a secret so no one is burdened with his problems, but after one nation uncovers his secret, he runs away to escape everything. However, not everything is as simple as it seems, and Lukas realizes he may never be able to escape his troubled life.
1. Dead

Lukas lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. Voices sounded from downstairs, but he was so lost in his head he heard none of them. He had been lying in a trance like state for several hours due to yet another sleepless night. It was becoming the norm, never sleeping, and he had no desire to do anything. Unfortunately, he had to act like he was okay in front of the others so they wouldn't catch on.

Lukas's trance was interrupted when Mattias suddenly barged into his room. "Norge, wake-" he paused mid sentence, seeing the blonde's eyes open. "Oh, you're awake," he said cheerfully, a wild grin lighting up his face.

"How could I not when you just enter my room shouting like a wild animal?" He replied in a monotonous voice, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.

The Dane grinned even wider. "Someone has to be cheerful around here! Now come on, it's nine thirty, we have things to do!"

Lukas sighed, knowing Mattias would become more obnoxious the longer he sat there. So with great effort, the blonde got up, brushing past Denmark on his way out the door. The Dane eagerly followed, chatting to the Norweigan as they walked downstairs, Lukas ignoring every word.

Norway was greeted by Tino and Berwald as he entered the kitchen. "Morning Lukas!" Tino said in his usual, cheerful manner. The Finn was sitting at the table drinking coffee, Berwald across from him. Lukas nodded to the two, moving to the coffee pot to pour himself a mug. After getting his drink, he sat down at the far end of the table without a word.

"Do you want anything for breakfast?" Tino asked him. "I can make you something! You look tired. You have dark circles under your eyes," he added, a hint of concern tainting his voice.

"No, I'm not hungry," he replied in his disinterested voice, taking a small sip of coffee.

Mattias rushed over. "Tino's right," he said, staring at Norway. "You look exhausted! Are you okay? Is something going on? Do you want to-" he was cut off with a slap in the face by Lukas.

"Shut up," he said, annoyed. "You talk too much."

Mattias rubbed his cheek, appearing hurt, although Lukas knew he was faking it. "Ow, gee, I was just concerned for my best buddy is all!"

The Norweigan made a small noise in his throat but made no move to reply. Denmark looked at Tino and Berwald but quickly looked away , shrugging it off.

Lukas sighed, not wanting to be there with them. "Are we actually doing anything or can I go back to Norway? I have things to do."

Mattias frowned. "But Norge! You do too much work! Can't you have some fun for once?"

"You let Iceland stay home to complete his work."

"That's different," the Dane argued. "Emil doesn't always try to stay away from everyone. And he was stressing out!"

Lukas sighed, setting his mug down. Glaring at Mattias, he said, "and I will be too if I don't finish mine."

The Dane opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Berwald. "If you have work, you should finish it. It's more important," he muttered in his deep voice. Tino nodded in argreement.

"He's right! We have all the time in the world for fun. Literally!" He said with a bubbly laugh.

Norway felt a pang in his chest but ignored it. He gave a quick nod and stood from the table. "Right. Thanks. I'll see you soon," he said, making his way to the door. "Bye!" He heard from Tino and Berwald. Mattias remained silent.

Lukas opened the door without a glance back. He slowly walked to his car, got in, and once it was turned on, began the drive home.

(Mattias POV)

Mattias crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the two nations. Sweden looked back as if challenging Denmark while Tino looked away guiltily.

"You seriously just let him go?" Mattias questioned.

Berwald shrugged. "He had work, couldn't force him to stay."

"But all he does is work!" He replied, frustrated and trying not to explode. "We've hardly seen him for the last few weeks!"

"Denmark," Tino said timidly, "maybe he just needs some alone time…"

Mattias glared for a few more moments then sighed, looking away. "You're probably right," he said in defeat, "I mean, we'll see him in a few days at the world meeting, yeah?" At this realization, the Dane perked up. "Yeah! There, he can't avoid us!" He grinned, leaving the kitchen.

"You can't hide forever Norge!" He called out to no one in particular from the hallway.

Tino and Berwald exchanged looks, then shrugged, going back to what they had been doing.

Typical Mattias.


	2. Crimson

Lukas sat with his back to the bathroom wall, staring straight ahead as blood dripped from his mutilated wrist. As soon as he had arrived home, he ran to his bathroom, quickly losing his cool exterior. He grabbed a razor he kept in his medicine cabinet and ran it slowly down his lower arm to his wrist. He made several more gashes on his wrist, relishing in the pain. The blood dripped onto the floor, but Lukas paid no attention.

He slid to the floor after dropping the razor, thoughts pouring back into his head.

He wished for death. He longed for it. He wanted an escape from all the pain of this endless life.

He hated himself. He hated being immortal. Unfortunately for him, suicide couldn't kill him- it would only knock him out for a week at most.

These thoughts of hate and despair flowed through him until he just became numb, staring straight ahead. The blood continued dripping down his arm onto the floor, Norway becoming fainter with each passing minute, but he didn't notice.

He just wanted to be done. Done with everyone, done with trying. He hated this life, hated himself, and he couldn't escape it.

Without even realizing it, Lukas had passed out on his bathroom floor, entering his momentary escape from life.

(_Mattias)_

Denmark burst through Norway's door, a day after he had left the Nordics, without knocking or warning the blonde that he was coming. He figured since the world meeting was the next day, he could travel with Lukas, so he decided to surprise the nation with his visit. This way, he figured Lukas would have no choice but to go with the Dane, and he would be forced to spend some time with him.

Still cheerful because of his incredible plan, he called out in a sing-songy voice for the Norweigan.

"Nooorge! Come on! We've got a meeting to go to!"

He waltzed into his kitchen, looking around for his friend, but there was no sign of him. He went toward the living room, but not before grabbing a pastry from the fridge.

"Norge! Hurry up, it's time to go!"

Still no reponse.

Mattias frowned. Was he too late? Had Lukas left already? No, he was sure he had gotten here early enough to catch the blonde before he left. Plus, Denmark was positive he had seen the nation's car in his driveway.

So where was he?

He walked toward the stairs, about to check Lukas's room, when he passed the bathroom. He paused outside, seeing a light on.

"Norge? Ya in there?" He called out, knocking on the door and finishing the last bit of the pastry.

No response.

Frowning, Mattias shrugged and barged through the door.

Inside, Lukas was wrapping his wrist with some white bandage. The blonde turned his head, staring cooly at the intruder.

Eyeing the bandage, the Dane asked, "What'd you do to your arm?"

Norway turned back to the sink, turning it on and washing his hands. "Cut myself making breakfast," he replied, turning around to dry his hands. He then shoved past the Dane and walked into the kitchen. "Why're you here," he asked dully, bothered by the Dane's intrusion.

Mattias frowned, staring at his friend. Was it him, or was Lukas a lot thinner? He shook his head. It was probably just his eyes. Norway was always dainty anyways.

"The world meeting is today! I thought we could go together!" he announced to the blonde, who had his back to the Dane while pouring himself some coffee.

"I'm perfectly capable of driving myself," he replied, finally turning around to glare at Mattias.

Denmark flinched. Norway looked terrible. His face was paler than normal, and dark circles lined his eyes. His normally stoic gaze lacked its hard edge, and his eyes looked dull and defeated.

What was going on with the nation?

Lukas stared at Mattias for a few more seconds waiting for a reply. Receiving none, he turned and walked toward the door. Mattias followed, and finally finding his voice, said, "Norge, are ya sure you're okay? Ya look a little..sick or something."

Lukas opened the door, walking out, and without turning to the other, replied, "Are we talking your car?"

Denmark noticed the attempt at avoiding the question. "Yes. Why didn't you answer me?"

"Because," Lukas started, sounding irritated, "you're annoying. I'm fine." He then opened the door to Denmark's car and got in, shutting the door after him.

Mattias paused before getting in. _Something's not right,_ he thought to himself as he turned the key in the ignition, starting the car. He glanced at his friend who was staring blankly out the side window, holding his mug of coffee that was now becoming cold.

"What Denmark?"

Blinking, Mattias turned his head behind him, starting to back out of the driveway. "Nothing buddy. I just wish you'd talk to me."

Silence.

Then, "There's nothing I need to say."

Mattias just nodded, choosing to let it go for now. After all, he had all the time in the world to figure out what was wrong with his friend. For now, he would let the Norweigan sit in silence. Denmark would figure him out. He would just have to wait.


	3. Well Now They Know

Lukas walked into the meeting room with Mattias by his side. Most of the nations were already there, so Lukas went to his seat. He really didn't feel like conversing with anyone; he had nothing to say. He just wanted to sit in silence with his own thoughts. However, this already proved troubling to do with Mattias who started questioning his behavior. Lukas was afraid the other nations might see something was wrong as well, so he hoped the meeting would start quickly so he could avoid conversation.

Luck happened to be on his side at the moment as a few seconds later, Germany called the meeting to order. Out of the corner of his eye, Lukas saw Mattias exchange a look with Tino, and the two quickly glanced at himself. Lukas felt a pang in his stomach, and he absentmindedly touched his wrist.

_Stop,_ he thought. _Stop paying attention to me. Stay away. Leave my problems alone._

He couldn't let anyone in, couldn't let anyone know what was happening to him. He had to leave this to himself; no one could know anything. It wasn't their problem.

Norway paused, feeling something wet through his bandage. He cursed. Without realizing it, his anxiety caused him to open a cut that he hadn't covered with the bandage. The blood started leaking down his arm and onto his hand.

Covering the wound and looking around, he silently got up from the table, left the room, and walked quickly to the nearest bathroom. He didn't even notice Mattias's look of confusion as he exited.

He burst into the bathroom, grabbing a paper towel and pressing it on the wound. It quickly started seeping through though, so Lukas grabbed a few more.

He cursed again, glancing worriedly to the door, then back to his arm. The blood continued flowing, not seeming to stop. Norway unwrapped his bandage, seeing that a cut had been opened underneath it as well.

He turned on the sink, trying to hurry, clean up, and cover his cuts so his absence wasn't noticed. Turning the sink off, he grabbed some more paper towels, about to wrap his arm with those when the door opened. Norway paused, panicked and unsure of what to do. The figure then fully entered and Lukas somewhat relaxed, seeing that it was just Mattias. He continued wrapping his wrist, quickly putting a stoic face back on. Mattias eyed him cautiously as if unsure if Lukas would lash out.

"Hey buddy, ya okay?" The Dane asked, eyeing Lukas's wrist. "You must've cut yourself pretty bad in the kitchen."

Grabbing his bandage to overlap the towels, he responded, "Fine, Denmark, I'm fine. Stop worrying." Finishing up, he turned to leave when Denmark grabbed his other wrist. Norway flinched, not looking at Mattias.

"Let me go, Denmark."

"No," he replied, staring into Norway's downturned eyes. "Norge, you've been so preoccupied and distant lately. I wish you would just tell me why."

Lukas struggled against the Dane's grip, trying to control his breathing. He had to leave, leave before having some kind of panic attack.

"Norge, please!" Mattias pleaded. "Why are you doing this?"

_You're showing him how weak and pathetic you are,_ a voice hissed at Lukas. _If he knows how depressed you are, how you cut yourself, he'll take on all your problems, and you'll just be another burden to him. He'll only think of you as a child._

Lukas grit his teeth. "No," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

"No what? What do you mean?" Denmark pleaded, trying to get an answer out of the Norweigan.

That's when Lukas hit his breaking point. All of a sudden, a blue wave of energy shot from his fingertips, sending Mattias crashing into the wall. Breathing heavily, Lukas ran out of the bathroom. He ran down the hallway and out of the building, just trying to place as much distance between himself and everyone else.

_Why don't people just stay out of my problems?_ He thought to himself, trying to hold back tears. _All I do is burden and hurt everyone. When will they ever just learn to leave me alone?_

Lost in his thoughts, Norway almost missed the woods passing by on his right. Once noticing them, he ran into the trees, knowing every forest had an object that could be used to teleport magical beings. Finding the magic within him, Lukas tracked down the object as quickly as he could. Arriving at a large, old willow tree after several minutes of heading straight, he determined this to be the object he was looking for. Lukas pressed his hands on it and started muttering some spell. Immediately, snow started flurrying around the nation until he could no longer be seen through the white vortex. When the snow finally fell back down to the ground, Norway was gone.


	4. Won't Let You Go

Mattias rubbed his forehead, blinking stars out of his eyes. He watched Lukas run out the door and tried to get up, but he only succeeded in staggering around for a few moments blindly. Finally gaining his vision back, he ran out the door after Norway.

He paused at the end of the hallway, unsure of which way to go.

"Dammit!" He cursed. Norway could be anywhere at this point. How would he find him?

His thoughts took him back to the meeting. There was another nation he knew of that had magical abilities. Maybe he could help find where Norway went?

Mattias walked quickly back to the meeting room and opened the door silently. He held his breath, but no one noticed his entrance. Quietly shutting the door, he hurried back to his seat. The three other Nordics gave him a questioning look, especially Iceland who had no idea what was going on. Mattias gave them a look saying _I'll explain later, _and they turned away. Emil glanced at Tino and Berwald before looking in the other direction, confused.

Mattias pulled a notebook out that he was supposed to use to take notes with. He tore a page out and hastily wrote, _Arthur, I need your help with Norge. –Mattias_

He crumpled it up, and looking around first, threw it across the table to England.

The paper hit him square in the chest. He looked up and scowled at the Dane, about to throw the paper on the ground. But Denmark help up his hand and mimicked opening the note. Frowning, England did what Mattias asked.

He watched Arthur's frown deepen as he read the note. After a brief moment, he wrote something calmly on the paper, foled it, and slid it gently towards Mattias. The Dane hurriedly opened it, reading the response.

_See me during our break._

He looked at Arthur, but he was looking away, trying to focus on the meeting. The Dane shoved the note in his pocket and glanced at the clock. He bit his lip, seeing he would have to wait another hour. He tapped his foot, trying to distract himself as he waited for the hour to pass by.

_(one hour later)_

As soon as Germany announced it was time for break, Mattias jumped up, and ran around the table, grabbing Arthur by the arm. He ran out of the room with Arthur cursing behind him. Denmark pulled him into a side hallway where he was sure no one would come.

"Hey, you git!" England snapped. "Slow down!"

"Arthur, I need you to find Lukas," Mattias said quickly.

The nation frowned, staring at the Dane. "Would you care to explain to me why? Maybe he doesn't want to be near you, and if that's the case, why should I help?"

Mattias was so worried he didn't even have time to get angry with the Brit. "Eng, Norge is hurting himself and he needs help."

The Brit paused, again staring at Denmark, his face unreadable. After a moment he said quietly, "What do you mean?"

"I think he's hurting himself," he replied, looking down.

Silence.

"What?"

The two nations spun around, seeing Emil at the end of the hallway. Mattias couldn't tell if he was angry, worried, scared…

"Ice…" Mattias started, moving toward the other, but Emil backed away.

"He's hurting himself," he began, "and now he's missing?"

Arthur looked to Mattias who held Emil's gaze. The Dane felt a mixture of guilt and sympathy, knowing how hurt and upset Emil was feeling.

"Ice," he started again but was promptly cut off.

"You better find him," he said curtly and turned around, walking away.

Mattias and Arthur looked after him, engulfed in silence, unsure of how to react.

"I'll help you," Arthur said quietly, breaking the silence and causing the Dane to turn toward him.

Mattias opened his mouth to thank the nation, but England quickly shut his eyes and started muttering something. The Dane stood transfixed watching the Brit. He had never seen anyone do magic; Norway never did it around him, so the process intrigued him even though nothing was really happening.

England stopped muttering after a few moments and stayed silent for some time while keeping his eyes closed. Finally, his eyes snapped opened, coming back into focus. His eyes found their way to Mattias who waited eagerly and nervously.

"He's back in Norway," he said slowly, "But I can't tell you the exact location."

"What?!" Denmark nearly shrieked, dumbfounded. "What do you mean you can't?"

"Mattias," he started, seeming like he was trying to be patient. "He's in a forest, but I can't tell you where exactly because it is the home of the magical beings he knows. If I tell you where it is, it could ruin their lives by you showing up, and it could ruin Lukas as well." The Brit folded his arms. "I'm sorry, I want to help, but you'll have to wait until he leaves that place before you can find him."

Mattias just stared at him with his mouth open, trying not to get angry. "Arthur, I don't think you understand the fact that he's hurting himself!"

"I do!" He replied angrily. "Do you think I want to see him harming himself? Because I don't! But you have to think about the long term consequences, and you can't destroy his one sacred place!"

Mattias let out a breath, trying to understand. "Can you at least tell me the forest he's in, if I promise to not enter?"

Arthur stared at him. "You have to swear on it," he said sternly after several moments of pondering in silence. "Swear. Because if I find out you enter, I will curse you."

Mattias's eyes lit up, but he held his excitement inside. "I swear it. I'll wait for him to exit before I get him."

Arthur sighed, looking away for a moment. Denmark could tell he felt guilty and wrong telling the Dane the location, but at this moment, he didn't concern himself with it.

"He's near Rago," he said quietly. "Around Solvskarvatan. It's about three or four miles from his home. Walk North from his house and you'll find it. Wait outside. Do not enter."

The Brit was all of a sudden hugged by Mattias who kept thanking him.

"Get off of me!" He said hotly, and Mattias obeyed. With a grin, he ran off, leaving the Brit all alone in the hallway. He sighed, his thoughts drifting to Lukas.

_ I hope he'll be alright, _he thought to himself, walking back toward the meeting room.


	5. Shattered Hearts

**Hey everyone! I just wanted to write a quick note to thank everyone for the reviews. This is my first story on here, so it's really great to see that people are actually reading it and enjoying it:)**

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Lukas walked through the forest slapping branches out of his way. He was so focused on getting to the middle of the woods he didn't even realize that every branch he touched was becoming engulfed in ice. He was a mess of emotions and could hardly process anything he was doing. Not that it mattered to him. Nothing he did anymore mattered. He just wanted an escape.

Up ahead, he could hear the trickling of water, so he hurried up knowing he was almost there. The trees were opening up ahead, and a blue-green glow could be seen. Almost at a run, Lukas burst through the last bit of branches, stopping once the lake was in clear view right in front of him. He breathed heavily, his thoughts temporarily blank. Finally, he was somewhere no one could reach him. He was alone, for now.

A crash sounded behind him, and he whipped his head around. His eyes widened seeing the ice that covered everything in sight. His heart sank as he realized instantly that he had caused it. He stared at it while continuing to breathe heavily for several moments. Then, with a sweep of his hand, he shot a wave of blue energy across the woods, shattering all the ice and sending it cascading to the ground. He then half-collapsed to the ground, first sinking to his knees, then rocking back to a seated position with his knees held to his chest.

_What's wrong with me?_ He thought to himself, staring off into nothing.

All he did was destroy everything and everyone. Everything he said and every move he made just hurt someone. He couldn't understand why no one would leave him alone- it would save them a lot of trouble.

He sat there for some time, so many things running through his mind that he couldn't focus on any one thing. However, he didn't feel as frantic as he had felt when he was around the others. He felt better alone.

A thought occurred to him then. He could live somewhere in secret, only telling the prime minister of his decision. That way, he could still complete work and advise his country while being able to keep his distance from others. He _could_ live here in this forest, but he didn't want to risk this magical place being found. He thought for a few moments and thought of the mountains far up north. Yes, he decided, that could work. No one would think to hike all the way up there to find him.

Norway closed his eyes momentarily while thinking about this plan. Then, opening his eyes slowly, he turned his palms upward, creating a blue aura while glancing at his cut wrists.

_Yes_, _it would be best to leave everyone,_ he thought. No one would be hurt anymore, and Lukas could at least be able to bear himself.

Extinguishing the aura, he slowly stood up. He started walking around the lake to head north to the forest's tree that could teleport him to where he wanted to go. He would travel to the forest closest to the mountains and make the journey from there. Once arriving, he would contact the prime minister, informing him of his decision. He felt his pocket, making sure his cell phone was still there even though he had forgotten he had had it until this moment. He pulled it out and, seeing it had been off the whole time, placed it back in his pocket, continuing to walk.

_Yes,_ he thought again, staring at the path before him,_ this is for the best._

It had been a day since Mattias had arrived at the outskirts of the forest, and there was still no sign of Lukas. He frowned.

"He should have come out by now," he murmured to himself. He pulled out his phone and tried calling him for the umpteenth time. Still no luck.

Sighing, he dialed Arthur. On the third ring, he answered. "Yes Mattias?"

"He hasn't come out yet," Denmark said in a worried tone. "Can you make sure he's still in there?"

Arthur sighed. "Fine. Give me a few moments." Mattias heard the phone be put down somewhere, and nothing could be heard after. He sat there glancing around the woods, hoping for any sign of the Norweigan.

A few minutes later, the phone was picked up again. "Well, he's not in there," the Brit informed. "He's up north now, and it appears he is headed to the northernmost mountains in Norway."

A puzzled look formed on the Dane's face. "What? Why would he be heading there?"

"I don't know!" Arthur replied crankily. "But you wanted to know, and that's the answer. What you do with that information is up to you. Goodbye." And with that, the call was disconnected.

Mattias sat there a few moments, processing this new information. The northern mountains… nothing was even up there. What reasons would he have for going there?

Well, there was only one thing he could do. The Dane stood up beginning to run back to Lukas's house. He would just have to follow him, but he'd need something fast. Luckily for him, Lukas had snowmobiles. It would have to do.


	6. The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyways

Snow flurried all around Lukas, but he didn't notice. His only focus was making it up the mountain to a decent place. He had been walking for at least an hour since teleporting to the northern-most forest in Norway, so he figured he would reach a safe place soon.

The farther he walked, the more his problems seemed to fade. Everything was for the best, of course. Everyone would benefit from his absence anyways. And maybe some time away would help himself to learn to not hate himself so much. Maybe.

Seeing the edge of a cliff up ahead, Lukas paused. He glanced behind him, and figuring he was far enough away, began to create his new home. He slowly raised his hands, causing the snow to rise up from the ground. Once a large amount was hovering in the air, he quickly shot his hands forward, sending the snow flying ahead of him. Before it went off the cliff, Lukas started circling his hands as if making a snowball, and he envisioned the snow combining to form a small cottage. The snow obeyed his thoughts and compacted, forming walls, a roof, windows, and objects on the interior. After several moments, the house was complete. Well, almost. Lukas walked over to it and placed a hand on its side. Instantly, the house smoothed over, immediately having the appearance of ice. With the slightest twitch of a smile, Lukas turned to the door, opened it, and walked in.

Directly to his right was a living room complete with a sofa, fireplace, and a tv made of ice. To the left was a doorway through which a kitchen lay. Walking past the living room and kitchen, Lukas found a bedroom with a king sized bed and its own bathroom, just like he had pictured when he was creating the house.

The Norweigan staggered a bit, suddenly feeling drained of energy from his journey and his creation. He walked over to the bed, climbing on top and sitting down. He pulled out his cell phone, figuring he would call the prime minister before catching some sleep.

He turned the device on and immediately noticed seven missed calls and ten new texts. Frowning, he went to the calls and saw Mattias's name all seven times. Flipping to the texts, he saw the same, a pang was felt in his stomach, but Lukas tried to ignore it.

_He's better without me,_ he told himself. _I'm just a burden to everyone. I'm doing them all a favor._

With shaking hands, he dialed the prime minister's number. On the second ring, he picked up.

"Hello, Lukas," he greeted.

"Hello sir," he replied, keeping a steady voice. "I'll make this quick because I know you're busy. I wanted to you to know I've moved somewhere else for..a change of scenery..so if you need anything, please call my cell phone. You can send papers and my work to my old house, and I can pick it up there."

There was a brief pause on the other end. Then, "yes, okay, I'll do that. Thank you for making me aware of this."

Lukas nodded even though no one could see him. "Of course. I'll be seeing you then."

"Lukas, wait."

He paused, putting the phone back to his ear. He waited, not speaking.

A few seconds passed before the prime minister spoke again. "Are you alright? Is everything going well with you?"

That pain jolted through his stomach again making Lukas begin to feel burdensome again. "I'm fine, yes, all is well."

Another hesitation.

"Alright. Well, I'll be in touch."

Click.

Lukas slowly put his phone down, unsure whether to feel relieved or guilty. He ran his fingers through his hair slowly, hoping that his last conversation would be the last one leading him to feel guilty and hateful toward himself. He lay down on the bed, closing his eyes to try and get some sleep.

_Yes,_ he decided, _I won't feel this way anymore. _And with that last thought, he fell into unconsciousness.

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**Hello everyone!I'm sorry, this is a pretty short chapter, and it kind of jumped around a bit, so I apologize for that!**

**The house building section was inspired by Frozen, so if it sounds somewhat familiar, you now know why :)**

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! I appreciate everyone!**


	7. Can't Escape This Storm

Trees. It was all Mattias had been seeing to his right for the last twenty minutes. He had been riding for what he figured had been around thirty minutes since…stealing the snowmobiles from Norway's…and he didn't feel like he was getting any closer to the mountains. He didn't even know how long the journey would take. The Dane was now somewhat regretting his failure to check the route before leaving. Maybe then he would have had some idea of where he was going.

Scowling, he slowed the vehicle down to a stop. He fumbled for his phone in his pocket, pulling it out to dial Arthur yet again.

"Mattias, if you call me one more time…" was Arthur's first remark as he answered the phone.

"Aw, don't be like that!" Mattias replied in a light tone. "Listen, I need you to make sure I'm going the right way. And maybe if you could figure out how long it will take me to get to Lukas, that would be helpful too."

The Brit started grumbling something along the lines of "inconsiderate wanker", but the Dane couldn't be sure what he said exactly as the phone was put down. Mattias waited impatiently, looking around and tapping his foot in the snow.

"Keep heading straight," he heard on the line after several moments. "Don't turn at all. Straight. You're about forty minutes away. You'll see a house on a cliff when you arrive. That's his."

"Thanks buddy!" he replied, ending the call, but not before hearing Arthur's grumbling.

He shoved the phone in his pocket, careful not to place it in his other pocket where a fragile item lay. He then turned the snowmobile on, adjusted the goggles he wore, and took off yet again.

_I'm almost there Norge, _he thought to himself. _Help is on the way._

_ (Lukas POV)_

Lukas walked downstairs to the kitchen where the rest of the Nordics sat eating breakfast and socializing. Everyone had a smile on their face, even Iceland, and laughs rang out across the room.

As soon as Lukas was seen, everyone looked at him, stopping their chatter and laughter. Ignoring them, Lukas walked over to the coffee machine, feeling their glares directed at his back.

"Why does he even live here?" Mattias said to the others loud enough for Lukas to hear. "Doesn't he know that no one likes him?"

Emil snorted. "Obviously not. If he did, he would've left by now."

Lukas froze hearing the words of what he thought were his friends. This was what they really thought of him?

"Not necessarily," Berwald spoke up. "He's probably delusional. Or no one else likes him, so he has nowhere else to stay."

Norway flinched at those words.

"Hey, you!" Mattias called out, and the Norweigan turned around feeling dread in his heart. "Why are you here?" The Dane continued, a cruel look on his face. "Obviously no one here likes you."

Lukas just stood there, unaware of what to do.

Denmark rolled his eyes. "What, are you deaf, or mute?" The others laughed, sending Lukas's heart plummeting even further down.

"I don't think he knows how to talk!" Emil laughed. "What a loser!"

Tino joined in the laughter. "Let's be honest though. He'd be better off dead!"

No. no no no. this wasn't happening. Norway's breathing picked up as he started to have a panic attack. His vision blurred, and he ran out of the house before he broke down in front of everyone.

He ran out the door but immediately felt something sharp in his abdomen. Gasping, he looked up to see Mattias holding a knife that was stuck in the Norweigan's body. With a malicious grin, he yanked the weapon out, and Lukas stumbled to the ground feeling the blood pour out of him. Mattias bent down next to his head.

"You thought you could actually get away," he whispered with a chuckle. He stood up. "Goodbye Norway," he called out, walking back to the house. "It's for the best."

Lukas shot up with a gasp, clutching the covers that had nearly fallen off the bed. He breathed heavily, trying to shake off what he had just seen. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to gain his bearings.

_It was just a dream,_ he told himself. _None of that was real._

Shaking, Lukas got up and walked into the bathroom, splashing cool water on his face. He grabbed a towel, drying his face. He spotted himself in the mirror and paused, lowering the towel to gaze at himself.

Pale. Dark circles marking his eyes. His hair was disheveled as well, making him look as if he hadn't slept in years.

Norway gazed at himself for a few more moments then broke the silence when he blasted the mirror with an orb of magic. The mirror splintered into a thousand glimmering pieces, few of which scraped the Norweigan. Where once was a reflecting glass now lay a plain wall and a cabinet with the mirror's splintered remains. Lukas stared at the wall for a couple seconds then stormed out of the room.

A thousand thoughts swirled through his mind, some having to do with no hope for himself, others about his weakness and worthlessness. He clenched his fists trying to control his urge to unleash his magic. He unconsciously formed a shard of ice in each palm causing his blood to start dripping to the floor. He continued walking until he was out the door, unaware of the gashes that opened on his palms.

Lukas moved to the back of his house, right to the edge of the cliff. He stood for a moment, his chest heaving. Then, with a huge breath, he threw both arms out to his sides, and a huge wave of energy erupted from his bloodied palms. Snow flurried everywhere from being pushed by the wave, and the sound of rocks clamoring down the cliff could be heard. Lukas collapsed onto the snow in the midst of this, tears cascading down his face.

"Why," he whispered in a barely audible voice. Why couldn't he escape? He was so far away from everyone and everything, yet his anxieties and problems seemed determined to stay with him. Why couldn't he have some peace for once?

Lying on his side on the edge of the cliff, Lukas stared out ahead of him, single droplets occasionally escaping from his eyes. The snow seeped into his clothing causing the Norweigan to shiver, but he didn't care.

_I deserve this,_ he thought numbly. _I don't deserve any relief. I only deserve pain._

He lay there as the night sky full of twinkling stars changed into daybreak. Stars disappeared, and the sun started peaking out over the horizon. Lukas still hadn't moved, although the tears had stopped falling, and he had adjusted to the cold encompassing his body.

"Norge?" a soft voice said from behind him causing him to snap out of his trance. It was a voice he could distinguish anywhere. He closed his eyes in frustration and despair.

Mattias.


	8. It Was Necessary

Mattias saw what looked like some kind of house off in the distance, so he sped up the snowmobile, figuring Norway would be there. Considering this was the middle of nowhere, there really was no chance it could be anyone else.

As Mattias came closer to the house, he could see its beauty even though its details weren't visible. He marveled at its structure seeing as it looked to be made of ice or snow. It stood out in the blank landscape it rested in, and the Dane tried not to marvel at the sight for so long.

He stopped the vehicle in front of the house and dropped his goggles on its seat. He sucked in a breath as he got off of it, walking toward the front door. He raised his fist to knock on the door but paused before his knuckles made contact with the ice.

_What if he runs when he hears the knock?_ He thought to himself, biting his lip. He didn't want to scare the Norwegian off again.

Denmark lowered his hand instead to the doorknob and twisted it. The door opened up as it wasn't locked, and the nation stepped inside as quietly as he could, shutting the door silently behind him. The Dane took slow, cautious steps forward, ignoring the details of the house as he searched for Lukas. He popped into the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom, but there was no sign of his friend.

Mattias ran his fingers through his hair, looking out the back window and thinking of where the Norwegian could be.

_Maybe I should wait here, just in case he ran out somewhere," _he wondered. Deciding that this was the best option, Mattias moved to turn around but paused, seeing a figure in the snow at the back of the house.

Shit. It was Lukas.

Not bothering to be quiet anymore, the Dane tore through the house and out the front door. He trudged as fast as he could through the snow and into the backyard. Lying in the snow a few feet from the edge of the cliff was Lukas, but Mattias couldn't tell if he was conscious or not.

Cautiously, he took a few steps forward so he was close enough to grab Norway if needed. Taking a breath, he called out to the nation in a soft voice.

At first, Lukas didn't move, and the Dane moved forward. He crouched down slowly, putting a hand on the nation's shoulder.

"Norge," he said again softly.

The blonde didn't turn toward him, and Mattias questioned if he was awake. He started panicking, afraid that the nation had somehow killed himself or something.

He got up, about to move around to the front of Norway when he finally spoke up.

"Why are you here," he said in a quiet, monotone voice, still facing the cliff.

Mattias closed his eyes, his heart breaking at seeing his friend in such a state. "Norge, I came to bring you home."

"I'm not going back," he replied slowly and calmly.

The Dane stared at him, thinking of what to say. While he hesitated, Norway stirred and slowly stood up, swaying somewhat. Mattias reached out to steady him, but the blonde stepped out of his reach.

"I don't belong anywhere but here," he said, looking into the distance. "Just go back home and leave me be," he told Mattias, turning to look at him.

Denmark looked the Norwegian in the eyes, holding his gaze. "I'm not leaving without you," he said softly and with concern.

Norway closed his eyes. "I'm happy here," he replied quietly.

"Norge, you're not. Come home and we can help you," the Dane pleaded, panicking at the blonde's stubbornness.

Lukas snapped his eyes open, an angry look flashing onto his face but quickly disappearing. He started to walk past Mattias. "Goodbye," he said, trying to walk away.

Denmark stood there, speechless and flustered at first, but he didn't want to let Lukas get away so quickly. No, he was coming home whether he wanted to or not.

Mattias pulled the fragile object out from his pocket and ran over behind Norway. Before the nation could react, he jabbed the needle into his arm, pressing down the syringe and sending the liquid into Lukas.

He pulled it out as soon as the liquid was gone, and Lukas spun around, an angry yet panicked look on his face.

"What did you-" he started but never finished. He stumbled and swayed, and his eyes struggled to remain open. After several seconds however, Norway lost the battle, and he collapsed to the ground, losing consciousness a few moments later.


	9. Conceal, Don't Feel

Lukas heard quiet voices around him but couldn't distinguish who they belonged to. His eyes felt glued shut, and his mind moved in slow motion. He couldn't determine what was going on or where he was; his mind wasn't processing anything.

After some time, Norway became aware that he was on some kind of cushioned surface, perhaps a bed. He felt something layered over him which he assumed were blankets. The voices he was hearing became clearer although they were still somewhat muffled sounding.

After a little more time, Lukas slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times. He stared at a white ceiling that was indistinguishable from any other ceiling. He focused on it for several seconds as he tried to wake up, but his mind was still running behind.

Suddenly, he heard a soft voice beside his head, and he turned slowly toward it to see Denmark with Finland, Sweden, and Iceland behind him. Norway couldn't react however, and he just stared at them blankly.

"How're ya feeling?" Mattias asked in a warm but cautious voice, looking at the blonde with concern.

Lukas turned his head back toward the ceiling, processing what the Dane had said. All of a sudden, the events that occurred prior to him being drugged were recalled.

Him being out in the snow. Mattias coming and trying to get himself to go back home. Him refusing, and the Dane injecting him with some kind of drug.

Slowly, the Norwegian realized what this meant.

Mattias had found him, and Norway was back home, no longer alone.

He could feel his heart pounding faster, and he tried to get up from the bed. However, his limbs were slow to react and felt like lead. Even if he could move them, Mattias put his hand down on his shoulders to hold him down. Lukas started breathing heavier.

"Woah bud, calm down!" Mattias said, a concerned look on his face. "You can't get up just yet!"

Lukas didn't even look at the three others as he struggled a bit more. "Let me go!" he said trying not to let panic leak into his voice. He tried to ignite his hands with energy but he assumed the drug had effected his powers because nothing happened. Gritting his teeth in frustration, he continued trying to fight the Dane off.

"Stop Norge!" he pleaded, pressing down on both shoulders now with more force, causing the blonde to stop because he could no longer fight. Lukas looked at the ceiling taking shallow breaths while trying to block Denmark out. From the corner of his eye, he could see Berwald lead the other two nations from the room, leaving just Lukas and Mattias alone.

"What's wrong?" The Dane questioned, and Lukas could sense the fear in his voice. "Why are you doing this?"

Lukas remained quiet, choosing not to answer. When Denmark realized he was being ignored, he shook the Norwegian a little.

"Why won't you answer me?" he pleaded with concern.

Still no response.

Exasperated, Mattias let go of Norway and backed away, running his fingers through his hair. He paced back and forth a few times, and Lukas stared at a spot on the wall.

Mattias paused and turned toward the blonde, walking to the side of his bed. He looked the blonde in the eyes. "Norge, I'm going to give you some time. But I promise you, we are all going to do whatever it takes to help you."

Lukas ignored him and continued staring at the wall. Mattias didn't take his gaze of the Norwegian for several moments as if hoping for some kind of response. When nothing came, he sighed, and with one last lingering look at the blonde, he silently left the room.

Norway shifted his gaze back to the ceiling, glad that Mattias had finally left. However, his mind was focused on one thing Denmark had said;

'I promise you, we are going to do whatever it takes to help you.'

He imagined in his head himself laughing in the Dane's face because of his blind hope.

_ Denmark, what if I can't be helped?_

* * *

**_Hi guys, sorry this chapter is very short. I haven't had much time to write. _**

**_As for some of you concerned with Denmark having a needle, I'll clarify; he had it because he thought Norway would refuse to come home, so he brought it to knock him out so he could get him home._**

**_Thanks for all the reviews, I'll try to continue updating quicker! :)_**


	10. Anticipation

Mattias walked downstairs with a mixture of emotions and thoughts running through his head. He was confused, upset, concerned, and angry, angry that he didn't know how to fix anything. How was he supposed to react to how Lukas was responding? Should he have just walked out, or should he have tried to do something, anything to get the Norwegian to respond? He shook his head as he made it down the stairs and walked into the living room where the other Nordics sat anxiously. What if he couldn't do anything at all?  
As soon as they saw him, Tino stood up immediately, and the others looked to Denmark with concerned looks taking over their normally emotionless or annoyed looking faces. When Mattias sat down, Tino spoke up.

"Is he..okay?" he asked quietly and hesitantly after seeing the look on the Dane's face.

Mattias looked to Tino and then at the ground. "I don't know," he whispered, trying to keep tears from arriving. "I don't know what's happening, and I don't know what to do." He put his head in his hands in frustration and desperation.

Tino put his hand on his shoulder, and the Dane looked up. Finland gave a warm smile. "Mattias, you can't know everything," he said comfortingly. "We are all in the same position as you-we don't know why this is happening. But we have each other, and together we can figure it out, okay?"

Denmark gave a hint of a smile, and a few tears escaped from the corners of his eyes. Suddenly, he felt the presence of someone else, and he looked up to see Emil standing by his side as well. He knelt down in front of the Dane with an unusually concerned yet determined look in his eyes.

"Denmark," he said, "we will make him better no matter what it takes or how long it takes. I promise that."

Berwald came over after that and put his hand on the Dane's shoulder as well. He didn't have to say anything for Mattias to get what he meant. They all wanted Lukas to get better and would do whatever it took to get him back to normal. In that moment, Mattias realized how grateful he was to have the Nordics. They were always there for each other and would do anything to help one another. He couldn't even imagine life without them.

Especially without Lukas.

Mattias wiped at his eyes, drying up the few tears that happened to escape. "Thank you guys," he whispered with a grateful smile, looking each of them in the eye.

"We're practically a family!" Tino responded, "so don't even thank us!"

Denmark chuckled, seeing the truth in the statement. Then he paused, thinking back to Norway. He wondered if the four of them would be enough to help the nation. After all, he didn't appear to even want their help. Would family be enough to bring him back?  
This thought brought him to another idea. He made eye contact with everyone as he began to voice his opinion.

"Guys," he started, then paused briefly, thinking over what he was about to suggest before saying it out loud. "I know this might sound bad, but what if we aren't enough to help him? He wouldn't respond to me; he didn't even want to come home with me. So what if we alone can't help him?"

Everyone gave him a confused look as to why he would bring this up. Then, Tino spoke up.

"What do you mean?" he questioned. "I mean, sure, I see your point, but what are you trying to say?"

Denmark looked down, then looked back up to meet Finland's eyes. "Tino, I think we need more help. As in, we need more nations to help us bring Norge back."

A silence followed this statement as the others thought this suggestion over. Iceland surprisingly was the first to offer his opinion.

"I agree," he said silently, causing Denmark to give him an astonished look. Emil glared back at the Dane. "Don't act so surprised," he snapped, "but I agree that we can't do this alone."

"Me too," Tino spoke up. "The more, the merrier!"

Finally, Berwald put in his thought. "I think we should too. But who do you have in mind, Mattias? What if no one wants to get involved?"

With this question, the Dane smiled. "Oh, trust me," he said in a secretive tone. "I know just the right nations to help Norge. And I'm positive they will be very eager to help him."

The others looked to him in anticipation, expecting the Dane to tell them who he had in mind. But instead of relieving their curiosity, Mattias jumped up from the couch and ran up the stairs toward his room.

"I'm going to make a call!" he called out to the others. Before waiting for their response, he slammed his bedroom door shut, locked it, and pulled out his phone to make the first call.


	11. An Unexpected Twist

Lukas was staring at the ceiling with no thoughts occupying his head when he heard the sound of the door opening. He paid no attention to it as he figured it was probably Mattias coming to "help" him again. He continued staring at the ceiling even as whoever entered the room walked over to the side of the bed.

"Hey, Lukas," the voice said softly, and a confused look formed on Norway's face. Slowly, he took his gaze off the ceiling and onto the figure's face. He took in the blonde hair and green eyes with confusion, seeing as it definitely was not Mattias.

Why was Poland here?

Feliks sat down on the side of the Norwegian's bed and looked him in the eyes with a comforting look. Lukas stared back at the nation, questioning why he would be here.

"Listen," Felix started, "I heard you're, like, not feeling well. And none of us want to see you like this. So, I wanted to talk to you."

An annoyed look immediately flashed across Norway's face, and Poland smiled in response.

"I know, I know!" he said lightly, "you're tired of everyone bothering you, I get it."

_You got that right, _Lukas thought to himself.

"But you don't have to say anything," the blonde continued. "Just listen to me and what I have to say, and if you want to say anything, go ahead. If not, then that's okay too!"

Lukas looked back up to the ceiling, already done with the conversation. He didn't understand why Mattias and the others were trying so hard to help him. For one, he didn't need any help. And two, he didn't need any of them, so why were they trying to help him when it was obvious he didn't even want to be with them?

Still looking at Norway, Feliks began to speak again. "So, you're probably wondering why I'm here of all people," he started, then paused. "Actually, you're probably wondering why your Nordic friends and I won't leave you alone to suffer in your misery."

Lukas continued looking at the ceiling with an uninterested look, but on the inside he was secretly surprised. Someone actually understood how he felt? Well, if that was the case, why was the nation still sitting here if he knew Norway didn't want to be bothered?  
Poland waited a few moments as if seeing if the Norwegian would reply. When he didn't, he continued speaking. "Well, if you're surprised that I understand how you're feeling, I guess you should be. Lukas, the thing is, I know exactly how you're feeling right now." Another pause. "Well, not exactly," he conceded, "but pretty close I'm guessing. We have different situations, but I'm guessing our thoughts are pretty, like, close or something."

Although his face still appeared bored, Lukas's mind whirled. What was Poland talking about? How could he know how Lukas was feeling? The only way he would know was if…

Feliks took a breath. "Lukas, it all started during World War 2, when my country was partitioned yet again." He hesitated as if caught up in the memory, but he then shook his head with closed eyes. Reopening them, he started speaking again. "In the beginning, I was angry. I was full of hatred and tried with all my might to do something to get my country back together. However, that changed once I realized there really was no hope for me. I was locked away in Russia's house, and I was tortured often. It's easy to see how one could give up hope."

Another pause. Lukas now found himself looking at Poland as he told his story, although Feliks now looked at a spot toward the end of the bed.

"Once my country had finally obtained its independence yet again, I was allowed to go back home. I did just that. I should've been happy," he stated, a distant look in his eyes, "but I wasn't. I found I couldn't do anything; I was trapped in a vortex of memories, and they led me to believe I was weak and an unnecessary country. I found myself depressed, and I even tried killing myself."

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Of course, I soon realized a nation couldn't kill themselves, and I questioned why I couldn't die when I was so useless. After all, why was there a need for a country that was only good for being taken over and partitioned?"

Lukas stared at Feliks. He had had no idea that this had ever happened to the nation. He seemed so unbreakable, so, so, happy all the time. How could he have ever wanted to kill himself?

Taking a breath, Poland continued. "Anyways, I got away with my state for a while. However, after some time, Liet started visiting me again, and he figured out something was wrong despite my best attempts to hide it. He grilled me with questions to which I didn't answer, and when he finally figured out how messed up I was, he tried everything in his power to help me. Of course," he said, and turned to look briefly at Lukas, "I didn't want his help. I was already convinced of my weakness and uselessness and, like, couldn't stand to be helped anymore. Fortunately for me, Toris wouldn't just let me be no matter how bitchy I was to him, and he eventually got me to start talking to him about what was going on. It took a very long time, but eventually my thoughts started to turn around, and I stopped harming myself and avoiding everyone. Everything wasn't healed, but I had learned that accepting help from someone isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength, that you're willing to let someone else in when you're so hopeless."

A silence engulfed the room. Lukas didn't know what to do. A million thoughts swirled through his mind at this point, and he wasn't sure if he should say something or just remain quiet. How had Mattias known about Feliks's story? How long did it take Poland to finally allow Toris to help him? How had the nation gotten away with his isolation and depression for so long?

Feliks watched Lukas, and Lukas could tell the nation could read his thoughts, or at least he knew Lukas was thinking something. The blonde smiled. "You don't have to say anything," he said softly. "I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone, and you don't have to do any of this alone. I know we have different circumstances. Well, I think we do," he added, "I mean I don't really know considering you haven't told anyone what is happening. But it's okay," he finished, "because it will take time. When you're ready to talk, you will. But don't hold everything in thinking that no one can help you. Because believe it or not, that isn't the right option."

Lukas stared off at a spot on his bed. He didn't know whether he should be angry that Feliks was saying all this, or if he should be relieved that someone out there actually understood him and could help him. Before he could get his thoughts in order, Poland smiled and squeezed his hand. He then got up from the bed, preparing to leave. He opened his mouth to say something, but Lukas grabbed his wrist, taking the nation by surprise. Feliks paused, looking at Norway with an unreadable expression.

Lukas opened his mouth, but at first, no words came out. He immediately felt stupid. Why was he even listening to Feliks anyways? For all he knew, the blonde could be lying. It could be Mattias's sick attempt to get Lukas to open up.

These thoughts swarmed his mind, but deep down, Lukas knew Poland was telling the truth. He pushed those thoughts aside and tried once again to speak.

"W-will you come back?" he asked in a quiet and weak voice.

Feliks's face immediately brightened up, and a warm expression took over his face.

"Of course I will!" he said softly, a smile forming on his face. "I'd love too."

Norway nodded and let go of the nation's wrist. "Thanks," he whispered as he looked toward the ground.

"Don't thank me," Feliks responded. "I want you better, just like everyone else. And I'll do whatever it takes to help you out, because I don't want to see anyone in the same position I was in all those years ago, okay?"

The Norwegian didn't respond, and Poland took that as his cue to leave. He walked toward the door, saying goodbye as he opened it. He walked out, leaving Norway all alone yet again.


	12. Learning to Let Go

Mattias sat at the kitchen table drumming his fingers on its surface while resting his chin in the cup of his hand. Berwald stared at the Dane silently, and Tino stared down at the table.

After waiting in a nervous anticipation for a long time, the sound of footsteps could be heard coming from the stairs. Mattias's head snapped up, and as soon as a flash of blonde hair could be seen in his vision, he jumped up from the table and ran over to the nation. Finland and Sweden looked over to the two, eager to hear what Feliks had to say.

"Well?" Mattias questioned nervously, standing right in front of Poland. "What happened? Did he say anything? Was he upset? Did he-"

Feliks held his hand up, and Denmark paused. "Woah, slow down!" he said, with a small laugh. "It was great actually. I mean, he didn't say much, which I expected, but he asked me to come back. That's, like, a lot of progress right there."

The Dane stared at Feliks in disbelief. "H-he talked to you?" he asked softly. He felt a mixture of relief and hurt. Of course he was relieved that Lukas was improving. However, he had known Norway for forever, yet the nation didn't even want to be near him. Why would he talk to Poland and not himself?

Poland smiled warmly. "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a conversation," he conceded, "but he listened to what I had to say, and right before I left, he asked me to come back. That was about it. But he wasn't angry, and he looked like he was seriously considering and thinking about what I told him. So, that's pretty great for where he's at right now."

Denmark just stood there, taking in what the long-haired blonde had said. Lukas was making an improvement. That was fantastic.

So why did he still feel so crummy?

Tino glanced at the Dane as if seeing if he would reply. When he said nothing, Tino spoke up with an enthusiastic smile on his face. "Feliks, that's so amazing! Thank you so much for coming, it means the world to us!"

Poland smiled back, looking briefly at the ground before returning Finland's gaze. "It's really nothing," he said shyly. "I wouldn't want him to continue living the way he is, so I'll do anything I can to help."

Denmark, finally finding his voice again, asked, "When will you be back?"

Feliks frowned slightly. "Um, probably tomorrow. I don't want to wait too long to see him. So yeah, tomorrow!"

Mattias nodded. "Alright. Thank you Feliks."

Poland smiled to him as well, but the Dane paid no attention to it. He turned around and went back to the kitchen table, sitting down and pulling out his phone.

The Dane tried to ignore Poland as he came over to the table, but he found it impossible to do when Feliks placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," he said softly, and Mattias looked into his wide green eyes. "It's going to be okay, I promise," he continued. "You aren't going to lose him, okay?"

Denmark looked away to a distant spot on the floor. "Yeah, okay," he said, trying to sound enthusiastic but failing. There was a brief silence, then the blonde got up from the table. He turned to Tino and Berwald and gave them a salute.

"I'll be off!" he told them, "but I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Bye! Thanks again!" Tino said cheerfully, and Berwald muttered a goodbye. Feliks turned around and made his way to the door.

When the door shut, Tino turned to Mattias. He walked over to the table where the Dane sat fiddling with his phone and staring off into nothing. Finland sat down and grasped the hand that fiddled with the phone.

"Mattias," he whispered, yet the Dane kept his gaze down. He didn't want to talk with anyone right now. Not when he was so confused with what he was feeling. He needed time to sort things out.

"You know it'll be okay," Tino said softly.

"Yes, I know," Mattias sighed, finally looking into Tino's eyes. "I just need time to think, ya know? I mean, I'm so glad Norge is getting the help he needs. But, at the same time, it hurts that he won't talk to me but he'll talk to someone else. I don't know," he finished, feeling embarrassed suddenly.

"Oh, Mattias! Don't feel bad for thinking that! That's normal!" Tino exclaimed. "I know how you feel, but sometimes it's best to put someone you care about in the hands of someone else. It doesn't mean Lukas likes him better; he might just feel more comfortable speaking with someone he hasn't known for as long as you, you know?"

Mattias paused, thinking about this. Maybe Tino was right. I mean, if Norway was more comfortable, then Mattias shouldn't feel jealous of his talking to Poland.

Denmark nodded, placing a small smile on his face. "You're right," he replied. "If he feels comfortable, then I'm glad he's talking to Feliks."

Tino smiled and opened his mouth to reply, but Berwald cut him off.

"Mattias," he said, a serious look on his face, "You never told us how you knew Feliks would be able to help."

Oh. That. Well, he could see why they would be wondering that.

"Well," he started, "A while after Poland got his independence back, there was a world meeting. I really had to go to the bathroom. Well," he hesitated, then continued, "not really. Actually, I was just really bored. Anyways, so I went to the bathroom and walked in, and Feliks and Toris were in there. Feliks was on the ground crying and Toris was trying to comfort him. They didn't notice me, so I quickly walked back out. At the end of the meeting though, I went to talk to Toris to see what was going on, and he told me what was going on with Feliks. Of course I was concerned, so I kept in touch with Toris to see how he was doing and all that. And, that's how I knew Feliks could help, because he went through something similar I guess."

There was a silence as the other two nations soaked in this information. Then, Berwald spoke up.

"Well, good job," he said, surprising both Tino and Mattias. "Good job for doing something stupid and making it into something actually useful."

* * *

**_Hello world! Just an update- I might not be able to update for a few days or so because I'm heading to Massachusetts for the weekend. But stay tuned; I'll try to update as soon as possible!_**

**_Thanks for all the reviews, I can't tell you how appreciative I am of all of them:-) _**


	13. Letting Loose

Lukas lay in bed, his mind drowning in a pool of thoughts. After Feliks had left, he was left alone in his room with no disturbance. His mind immediately began to think about what the nation had told him.

Feliks hadn't accepted help at first, just like himself. But, he eventually took it, and he was better now. If Poland could get over his depression, why couldn't he? He didn't need Denmark or the other Nordics to get involved, so he wouldn't have to hurt them or burden them. No, he only needed Feliks, and hopefully he would be able to tolerate himself, at least somewhat.

With this in his mind, he felt slightly better. However, there were still nagging thoughts running around, thoughts that doubted Poland's help and getting better. He tried to push them away, but they wouldn't go away. In the end, he just tried his best to focus on the positive and not the negative.

Maybe things would get better.

Maybe.

Lukas was at his window staring out into the snow when he heard his door open slowly. He turned his head to see Poland peeking his head into the room. Lukas turned back to the window, and Feliks entered the room.

"Hey, Lukas!" he greeted, walking over to where the nation stood. He joined the nation in looking out the window. "Ah," he sighed contently, "it's, like, so beautiful here. I could stare out the window for hours."

Norway didn't respond although he secretly agreed with the blonde. However, he would have rather been out in the snow instead of trapped inside this house. He felt a pang of longing in his stomach, realizing at that moment how much he missed his freedom.

Feliks looked at Lukas, and his facial expression changed as he noticed something change in the nation. He turned his body completely toward Norway and folded his arms across his chest. Lukas kept his gaze toward the landscape.

"Lukas, you practice magic or something, right?" Poland asked.

The Norwegian turned toward Feliks in surprise and curiosity, wondering where this random question came from and what it had to do with anything. However, he nodded in response to his question, mostly because he wanted to see his reasoning for asking.

Feliks went on. "Why don't we go outside then, and you can, like, let loose and do whatever."

Norway paused, an unreadable expression on his face. Go outside and practice his magic? Was he stupid or just too trusting? Didn't Poland realize how easy it could be for Lukas to escape? Or, maybe he knew he wouldn't because they would just find him again. Maybe he understood his longing for some bit of freedom and trusted him to be wise about it.

Poland stared at the nation as his thoughts went wild in his head. After several moments however, Lukas came to a decision. He nodded his head, murmuring a "sure" in a quiet tone. Feliks grinned.

"Yay! Let's go! We don't have to go too far, but I think a little fresh air would do you some good."

Turning quickly, Feliks nearly skipped out of the room with Lukas following at a slower pace. The two moved down the stairs and were almost out the door when a voice from another room stopped them.

"Feliks, where are you two going?" Denmark questioned, walking into the hallway with his arms folded across his chest, an almost angry yet worried look on his face.

"We're going on a walk," the nation responded with a smile. "Don't worry, we won't be long!"

He put his hand on the doorknob when Mattias stopped him again. "Um, do you think that's the best idea?" he glanced at Norway but quickly looked away. Lukas looked down, knowing Mattias had no reason to trust him right now.

Poland, however, rolled his eyes at Mattias as if he was being ridiculous. "Mattias," he said, staring the nation down, "I know what I'm doing. Just relax and, like, watch a movie or something." He turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. Lukas suddenly felt a yank on his arm, and he was quickly shoved through the door. "We'll be back!" Feliks called out as he stepped out the door before the Dane could say another word.

After the door shut, the blonde grabbed the Norwegian's wrist loosely and tugged. "C'mon!" he said with enthusiasm. "We better go now so we aren't out too long-wouldn't want Matty dear to have a heart attack!"

The two started walking, and Lukas shoved his hands in his pockets. He could see the edge of the forest in his vision, and his heart started beating faster with a strange excitement, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Poland smiled from in front as if sensing the nation's changing emotions, but he said nothing, which Lukas was grateful for.

Finally, they reached the edge of the forest. "If you want," Feliks offered, "I can wait here as long as you don't take too long. I don't want to,like, invade your privacy or whatever."

The Norwegian turned to the nation dumbfounded and confused. Let him go alone? Poland really had a lot of trust in him. Either that, or he really didn't realize how easy it was for Lukas to run away. He looked to the ground as these thoughts ran through his head. But as he thought, he knew he wouldn't run away.

Norway's eyes met Feliks, and he shook his head. "No," he said softly, and Feliks looked at him with confusion. He opened his mouth to reply, but Norway cut him off. "I can show you my magic here."

Before Poland could respond, Lukas cupped his hands, and a soft blue light radiated from them. Feliks watched with a look of amazement and wonder, and Lukas smiled the tiniest smile. He let the light travel higher, and snowflakes started swirling around in it. He moved one of his hands away, and a bit of the light and snow moved with it. Feliks was now grinning, and Lukas found himself following suit.

With his other hand, he shot a beam of light toward a tree branch, and it instantly became enshrouded in a clear ice. He then held up both his palms and shot more light into the air, and a mixture of green, blue, and purple lights lit up the air above them like a magical light show. He moved his arms slightly and whispered something under his breath, and the air seemed to transform. A fox and a rabbit formed out of mist and ran through the lights, and Feliks laughed with delight. The two seemed to run through the air, and in several moments they disappeared.

Lukas closed his palms back up, and the light slowly faded away. He felt Poland's eyes on his face, so he met his gaze. The two looked at each other with neutral faces until Poland grinned yet again. Lukas followed suit, and suddenly the two began laughing quietly.

"That was incredible," Feliks breathed, and Norway looked down as if embarassed at the attention.

"Thanks," he said softly, a small smile on his face.

The blonde smiled back. "See? I told Denmark it would be okay," he said in a light tone. He patted Lukas on the back, and the two started making their way back to the house. "If you want, we can do this more often. Just say the word and I'll be here. And if you want to go alone, I can wait somewhere else while you do your thing, okay?"

Lukas nodded, feeling content and almost happy. "I'd like that," he replied truthfully. In all honesty, he needed this. He needed a distraction and someone who wouldn't push him to talk about how he felt and what was going on. And, maybe if he did this more often, he could get better sooner, and he wouldn't feel like he as burdening the other Nordics as much.

Y_es,_ he decided, _this will be good._


	14. Hollow

Mattias paced back and forth, waiting anxiously for Lukas's return. Tino and Berwald had left earlier in the day to go run some errands, so Mattias was left to wait for his return alone.

_What if he runs away? H_e thought to himself constantly. Wh_at if I can't find him this time?_

Similar thoughts continued to run through his head making him near panic. However, just before he was about to go out looking for the two, he heard the sound of the door opening, and his head snapped in its direction. He quickly bolted to it and breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Norway's face. His mood changed from worried to something more like anger though as soon as he saw their happy faces. He folded his arms across his chest and looked at Feliks.

"Oh, hey Mattias!" he greeted with a smile. "See, I told you it would be fine! He's all back and okay."

The Dane kept his gaze on Poland. "I see," he said in a flat voice. "We have things to do Feliks, so do you mind leaving now?"

The blonde looked to Mattias with a questioning expression, but he seemed to quickly catch on to Mattias's mood. "Uh, yeah," he said quickly. "Sure. See ya Lukas!"

He waved to the nation then walked back out the door. Once it was shut, Denmark turned his attention to Lukas who now appeared to be feeling very awkward.

"What were you two doing?" he asked in a tone a parent would ask their kid after catching them sneaking out of the house.

Lukas looked to the ground. "Just walking," he muttered.

"And what else?" Mattias pried, knowing there was something else.

"Nothing."

The Dane quickly became frustrated and suddenly blurted out a question. "Was he encouraging you to run away again or something like that?"

Norway suddenly snapped his head up to look at Denmark with a mixture of hurt and anger. "No!" he said quietly yet forcefully. "Why would he do that?"

"Gee, I don't know!" Mattias relied sarcastically. "But it's funny how you will talk to him and not to me. It makes me wonder why that is, Norge."

Lukas remained speechless for several moments. Mattias just watched him, waiting for any reaction.

"Denmark, I know you don't have any reason to trust me," the Norwegian started in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course I don't!" the Dane nearly shouted, causing Lukas to look up in surprise and alarm. "You're little stunt several days ago was the second time you've left me with no word! And I'm not about to let you get away again!"

Norway stared at his friend in shock while Denmark glared back. Then, without a reply, Lukas turned away and ran up the stairs into his room.

Mattias stood in the hallway for several moments as he tried to calm himself down. He ran his fingers through his hair, realizing too late what he had just done.

Lukas was already upset and depressed. Mattias had just yelled at him, brought up Lukas's escape from him during the days of their countries' union, and probably made the nation feel like shit for running away when it was all Mattias's fault anyways.

"Shit," he whispered to himself.

"Norge!" he called out as he started running up the stairs. He banged on the nation's door, but he instantly heard the sound of the lock turning. He jiggled the doorknob just to make sure, but like he thought, the door was locked.

"Norge, let me in!" he pleaded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything I said! Please, can we just talk?"

There was no response.

He jiggled the knob again then rest his head against the door in defeat. "Norge, I'm sorry," he whispered quietly.

He stood like that for several moments and was about to leave when he heard the sound of the lock move again. Slowly, he removed his head from the door and twisted the knob, surprised to see it open. He bit his lip, realizing Lukas was going to let him come in and talk to him.

"Norge?" he called out. "I'm coming in, okay?"

There was no reply from inside, so Denmark opened the door and walked in. Once inside, he saw the nation's figure standing in front of his mirror, appearing to be staring at himself yet seeming to stare at nothing. Mattias slowly walked up to him, yet Lukas kept his eyes on the mirror.

The Dane started to reach a hand to place it on his shoulder, but the sound of Lukas's voice stopped him.

"I never meant to hurt you Mattias," he whispered, still staring at his reflection.

Denmark looked to him, immediately feeling guilty. Was he the reason for his friend's depression?

"Lukas, you didn't hurt me. Do not blame yourself for that," he said as sincerely as possible, hoping to change his mindset.

"I hurt everyone," Lukas continued in a hollow voice. "I can't seem to stop."

This information made Mattias pause. So this was why Lukas had been feeling and acting the way he was? Because he was supposedly hurting people?

Denmark looked into the Norwegian's eyes in the mirror. "Norge," he whispered softly, wrapping his arms around the frail nation. "You don't hurt anyone. You need to get that thought out of your head. You're one of the most kind nations anyone knows."

Norway kept his gaze on his reflection and didn't respond. Denmark waited patiently, wondering if he should say something or wait for his friend to speak. Worry and intense sadness filled his being as he stood there with the Norwegian. What had caused this to happen to his friend? What had caused his mindset to change so quickly? Why did this have to happen to him?

A sudden thought came to his mind in the midst of all these questions, and he slowly unwrapped his arms from around Norway. He tugged gently on the blonde's arm.

"Hey," he said quietly, "come downstairs. There's something you need to see."

Lukas stood there for several moments then allowed himself to be led out of the room by Mattias.

_Hopefully this will help him somewhat, _the Dane thought to himself as they walked down the stairs and into the living room. He had thought of something to show Lukas that would hopefully help to start getting his mind to change. However, he wasn't sure it would work; it was only mere hope. But it was one of his best shots, and the sooner he tried it, the better.


	15. Reminiscence

Lukas stood behind Mattias as he bent down and started rummaging under the couch. The Norwegian looked on, confused, wondering what he was doing looking underneath the piece of furniture, but he didn't comment. His question was soon answered when Denmark muttered an "Ah-ha!" and pulled something out. He turned to Lukas with a goofy smile on his face.

"I wasn't sure if I still had this or not," he said sheepishly. "But I'm glad I do! Here, sit down." He pat the carpet next to him, and Lukas gingerly sat down next to him.

Mattias held some kind of book in his hand, and Norway stared at it, wondering what it could be and why the Dane wanted to show it to him. It had a light blue cover but appeared to have no title. Instantly, his eyes widened slightly as he recognized what it was.

Denmark watched Lukas's face change. He looked at him with an almost shy smile. "Remember when you gave this to me for Christmas all of those years ago?" he asked softly.

Norway didn't respond, but of course he remembered. He had been struggling to come up with an idea for Denmark's present that year, but after some time, he came up with the idea of a photo album. Mattias had bought a camera earlier in the year, so Lukas figured the Dane might want some hard copies of the pictures he took.

Denmark opened up the cover and grinned upon the first page. He turned the album toward Lukas so he could see as well.

"I love this note," he said with a laugh. "This is the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"

Norway allowed a hint of a smile to etch his face, but it came also with a pang of remorse.

_To Mattias, _the note read, _Merry Christmas. You aren't that annoying. _

Lukas stared at the note, feeling the Dane's eyes on his face, but he didn't turn towards the nation. Seeing the note made him question everything all over again. When had things began to change to the point where his mind started turning on him? When had he begun to hurt everyone, including himself?

The page flipping in front of his sight distracted him briefly, and a picture of himself and Denmark occupied his vision. Mattias had a huge, goofy grin on his face while Lukas looked pissed off as he normally did when with the Dane.

Denmark laughed silently as he stared at the picture. "I remember this one," he said in a reminiscent voice, not looking at Norway. "It was the day I first got my camera, and you had to be in the first picture!"

The blonde remembered that day as well. He remembered how happy it made him to see his friend so excited over something as stupid as a camera. Of course, he didn't show it although everyone could tell he was affected in a positive way by Denmark's elated mood.

He flipped the page, and the next image was of Berwald and Tino who were caught off guard by the camera. Both wore confused expressions, and Mattias snickered upon viewing it again.

"Ha! You were here when I took this picture too," he said, turning to look at the blonde. "Sweden was so pissed off!"

Lukas remained silent. He stared at the picture although he didn't really see it. His mind drifted back to those times, the times when he enjoyed being in the presence of the other Nordics, the times when he hadn't ever hurt any of them. Why did it have to stop?

Mattias continued going through the album, but each photo made the Norwegian even more upset as he felt the past could never be reached again. He felt so distant from his past self that he soon came to thinking it would be impossible to ever be that happy again.

Suddenly, he felt Denmark's eyes on him, and he looked down to see the photo album was shut. He winced inwardly. How long had he been zoned out for?

Mattias remained silent for several moments then began to speak softly. "Remember all of these times?" he asked silently, sliding the album away as he turned his full attention to the blonde. "Remember how much fun we had?"

Lukas stared at a spot on the floor. "Ja," he said quietly. He felt something wet cascade down his cheek, and he wiped it away discretely, not wanting the other nation to see. However, he noticed, and Mattias slid over and grabbed the Norwegian's arms gently.

"Norge," he said quietly but firmly, "Look at me."

Slowly, the blonde looked up into his eyes. Denmark continued to talk. "I don't know what happened, and something tells me you are confused too. But I promise you, I promise we are going to figure this out together. You're going to get better, okay?"

A silence followed, and Norway looked back down to the ground. A pool of tears filled in his eyes and threatened to spill over. He tried to keep them at bay but failed, and they fell down his face as if running for their freedom.

He was quickly pulled into a hug, and the Dane rubbed his back. "Shh," he whispered. "It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay."

* * *

***_winces* _sorry for the short chapter and somewhat long time it took to update, and thank you for your patience! thanks for all the reviews and updates; thank you for reading :-)**


	16. Normal

_Six Months Later_

"Lukas!" Mattias called from downstairs. "Hurry up! We're leaving now!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he replied as he walked quickly down the stairs. "You're so impatient."

Tino, Berwald, Emil, and Mattias were waiting by the front door for him with their suitcases in their hands. The five of them were going to Switzerland for the weekend to go snowboarding to take a break from all the work they had been doing. Lukas grabbed his coat from the closet hall, put it on, grabbed his suitcase, and followed the four out the door.

After the whole photo album situation with Denmark, Lukas had slowly begun to make progress with the help of everyone else. For some time, he still felt hopeless and felt as if he would ever make progress. But with time and the patience of everyone else, he slowly began to return to his past self. He still continued to see Feliks, but he now spent much more time with the Nordics, just like he used to. He no longer felt like a burden to everyone else, and he didn't feel like he was hurting anyone. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Norway was actually happy.

The five got in Denmark's car and immediately peeled out of the driveway. Mattias turned around to look at everyone.

"Everyone excited?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"Of course!" Tino replied excitedly while everyone else just mumbled "sure's" and "yeah's" in their usual disinterested voices.

Mattias turned to Lukas who sat in the passenger seat. "And you?" he asked. "You're excited?"

Lukas looked out the window for several moments, staring at all the passing trees. This was the first time in a long time that he had gone on a trip with the four others. He could hardly remember what it was like to be with them and only them, having fun for once. Was he excited? After all, he could hardly remember what it was like to be excited for something.

Slowly, he turned to the Dane with his usual stoic face, causing Mattias to slowly gain a look of concern.

But much to Denmark's surprise, Lukas answered, "Of course I am."

A grin immediately lit up Mattias's face, and he turned forward to turn the radio up to full volume.

"Switzerland, here we come!" he shouted, gunning the car. The four went speeding off down the road to start their vacation. Lukas stared out the window with the slightest smile on his face. He had truly missed this – having fun with the Nordics. He was glad to finally be back with them. But most of all, he was glad to finally be back to normal.

* * *

**Hi guys! This was the last chapter of this fic! I know it ended kind of abruptly, but I haven't been having much time to update, so I felt I should probably bring closure to this piece. Thank you all for reading this and reviewing; this was my first story on here, so it made me feel great to have so many people like it :-)**


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